Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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