Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So apparently I’m into choking now
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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