Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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