Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
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i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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