I puked a lego.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize