70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize