first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
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After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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