just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
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just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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