we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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