Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize