So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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