I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize