Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
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Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All the doctor said was why
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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