Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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