I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
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OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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