judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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