I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
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