help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize