3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize