Fine. I'll sleep in my office
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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