HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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