the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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