Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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