How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize