There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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