so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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