Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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