Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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