So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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