How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize