Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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