Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
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Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
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He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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