I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize