Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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