How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize