is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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