woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize