Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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