Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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