we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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