saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize