the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
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i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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