Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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