does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
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I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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