Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize