Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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