Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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