He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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