Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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