if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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