i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize